


Perfect

by PostSochiFeels



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PostSochiFeels/pseuds/PostSochiFeels
Summary: This is my first time writing this pairing and was inspired by the most innocuous of videos and I needed to write it out.  I will warn that I generally don't like my characters to be happy, but I may change my ways with this one.  There is more coming, this is kind of just the teaser.  Feedback is most welcome and appreciated!





	1. How it Happened

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing this pairing and was inspired by the most innocuous of videos and I needed to write it out. I will warn that I generally don't like my characters to be happy, but I may change my ways with this one. There is more coming, this is kind of just the teaser. Feedback is most welcome and appreciated!

He slumped against the door to her room, desperately wanting to enter, but terrified to go in at the same time. He stared down at the brightly colored stuffed unicorn clutched in his hand. A stuffed animal, he scoffed to himself. He should have brought her flowers. She always liked flowers, but she loved the little stuffed tokens he always bought her too. What did it matter anyway? She probably was still unconscious. Shaking his head he pushed away from her door. He didn’t deserve to be here. She wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. He turned away from the door, searching for a garbage can to toss the stuffed toy in.  


“Scott, where are you going?” Tessa’s father came up behind him. “You can go in. The doctor cleared you.” He touched Scott’s shoulder gently. "They said family only, but we insisted you be allowed in to see her."  


“No, I shouldn’t.” Scott muttered, more to himself than her father.  


“Pardon?”  


“I shouldn’t…she wouldn’t…I…can’t.” he choked out.  


Her father gave him a slight push towards to door. “She absolutely would. She’d be furious when she wakes up and finds out you weren’t here.”  


“But it’s my…” he began.  


“Stop. None of that. Go see her, please. Her mother and I will be down in the cafeteria. Take your time. Remember, you’re family too.”  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It had been a normal practice day at their new rink in Montreal. The morning had been devoted to their short dance and in the afternoon they were going to work on their new free dance. Scott couldn't believe how different their training had been since they made the decision to return to competitive skating. Well, since he made the decision and Tessa finally agreed with him. He missed her when they were apart and not skating and, even though she didn't say it out loud, he knew she felt the same. They mutually decided to let their relationship of so many years fall where it may and let whatever happened happen. They didn't try to define it and they didn't want to. They both were just happy with each other and with skating and not being bound to anything.  


“So what brilliant ideas do you have for the free?” Tessa took a sip from her water bottle. “We’ve got to come up with some new lifts this year.”  


Scott playfully tossed a balled up tissue across the table at her. “Why do I have to come up with the brilliant ideas? You’re the smart one, I’m the pretty one.”  


Despite herself, Tessa snorted as she laughed out loud. “Well, pretty one, it’s time to get back to work.”  


They swiftly glided around the perimeter of the rink, occasionally reaching out and brushing the palms of their hands again each other as they passed. Tessa couldn’t help but smile brightly as she stroked backwards to finish her warmup ritual.  


“What’s the smile for?” Scott called out, happy to see his partner smiling and enjoying herself.  


“I’m just really enjoying this.” She sighed. “I really missed it.” Tessa spun to a stop beside Scott.  


He beamed. “So, you’re finally admitting that I was right? Alert the press!”  


Tessa punched his shoulder lightly. “Yes, you were right. I’m glad we came back and made the changes we did. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun.”  


Scott took her hands in his and brushed his lips across them. “Thank you, my lady. I know you only came back because I begged.”  


“Not only because of that.” Tessa rolled her eyes.  


“You were gonna miss me.” Scott teased. “You couldn’t do without me.”  


Tessa smirked. “I think I would have managed.”  


Bantering done for the moment, they joined hands and stroked over to their coaching team. Various ideas were tossed back and forth and then Scott suddenly clapped his hands. “What if Tessa is skating backwards and does, like, a backflip, but I catch her?” He stuck his toe pick in the ice and leaned backwards to demonstrate.  


Their coaches looked at each other with raised eyebrows. “It sounds interesting, but can Tessa do a backflip?”  


“Well, I…no…but…” Tessa stammered.  


“You can learn it, you can do anything.” Scott praised. He knew she could. He knew she would try because she'd want to prove she could and that she wasn't afraid. Scott loved that about her.  


“What would you be doing?” their choreographer asked. “I’m picturing footwork as she jumps and then you catch her in a spread eagle position.  


“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” Their coach held up his hands. “How do you feel about this Tessa?  


Tessa shuffled her feet, lowering her head slightly when she caught a glimpse of Scott's brilliant smile. She knew Scott was excited about his idea and she did want to try it. She just wasn’t sure about launching herself upside down in the air. “It sounds really interesting, but maybe we could modify the backflip thing? I’m not too sure about that.”  


“Let’s try a few things, just get comfortable with the sensation to start with.”  


Tessa and Scott looked at each other, shook hands and glided over to a start position.  


***************************************************************************************************************************************  


Scott slipped quietly into Tessa’s room, letting the door shut with a slight clunk.  


He managed a small grin when he saw her pale, bare foot sticking out of the sheets. “Too hot for you, Tess?” he tried to joke, keeping his voice light. His grin faded when he realized Tessa hadn’t been moving around restlessly, but that the doctors or nurses had missed tucking her foot in when they transferred her from the gurney she had laid on in the emergency room.  


Tessa lay, pale and still and looking oh so small, on the hospital bed. Tubes wound around her body and seemed to be attached into her everywhere possible. At some point someone had changed her out of her practice outfit and into a hospital gown. Scott looked around the room and wondered idly where her skates were. Tessa would freak if her skates went missing. He tried, unsuccessfully, to avoid looking at the gauze bandage wrapped around her head, at the blood seeping through it.  


“Oh Tessa.” Scott covered his mouth with his hand. “I’m so sorry.”  


*************************************************************************************************************************************  


“I love it!” their coach called out to the pair. “How does it feel Tessa?”  


“It’s actually not too bad.” Tessa skated over to the boards and leaned against them. “If we take it slow and break it down into parts…”  


“It’s going to be our best lift ever!” Scott yelled out, stopping just before the boards in a spray of snow.  


“Well, it certainly has the potential to be a highlight of the free program, that’s for sure.” Their coaches agreed. “Let’s keep working.”  


Tessa and Scott clasped hands and skated to the centre of the rink. They twirled and spun until they reached the moment for the lift. Tessa dug her toe pick in and launched herself up. Scott twisted to be in position to catch her and felt his skate catch a rut in the ice. He was falling before he had a chance to catch Tessa and all he could do was watch helplessly as she crashed to the ice.  


“Tess!” Scott scrambled to his feet and skated over to his partners prone body lying on the ice.  


“Don’t touch her Scott! We’ve called 911.” Their coaches made their across the ice to Tessa as quickly as they could in their street shoes.  


Scott fell to his knees beside her and tenderly touched her shoulder. “Tess, get up, please get up!” he whispered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I've been reading over the draft for this story and decided to change a few things in each published chapter so far. Nothing major, just adding some bits, changing some of the wording and so on. Hopefully, it adds to the story and makes it flow a bit better. Let me know what you think - if you like it or I should have left it alone. More coming soon - thank you for reading!


	2. Going Home

"Scott?" Tessa's father, Jim slipped quietly into Tessa's room. "The doctor would like to meet with us to discuss Tessa. We'd like you to join us."

Scott was settled into a chair that he had pulled up to Tessa's bedside. He held her left hand between his and, leaning awkwardly, his head rested on the bed near her shoulder, eyes closed. Jim shook Scott's shoulder gently. "Scott? I'm sorry, I know you've had a long day. I think we all have at this point. We need to go see the doctor about Tessa." 

"Sorry." Scott lifted his head and released his partners hand so that he could stretch the kinks out of his arms and back. "Are you sure you want me there? She wouldn't be in here if it wasn't for my stupid ideas." 

"If I know my daughter, she liked your stupid ideas and wanted to prove to you that she could do it." Jim grinned. Tessa's need for perfection was well known in the family. If she thought she could do it, she was going to do it. Perfectly.

"I wasn't there for her. I should have caught her."

"And if you had managed to catch her and then fallen, you could be there one lying there or you both could have been hurt. It's not your fault." he emphasized.

Scott looked at Jim and simply nodded. He couldn't understand why the family was being so forgiving with him, but he wanted to know what was going to happen to Tessa and he appreciated being included in the family discussion. He gazed down at his partner as he tucked her arm back under the bed covers. "I'll be back T. I promise."

 

"I've discussed your daughters situation with some other experts and we all agree the best thing in this situation is to airlift Miss Virtue to your local hospital and let their staff continue to monitor her condition."

"Does that mean that she's worse?" Tessa's mother, Kate, swiped a tissue over her eyes and then crumpled it tightly in her fist.

"Tessa is stable, for now. Most of her injuries are minimal. Deep bruising, for the most part. The traumatic brain injury is, quite obviously, the most worrying. We've performed a CT scan, and at this moment, there is no internal bleeding. However, with this type of injury, she must be monitored very carefully. The slightest swelling could be very dangerous and require surgery to release the pressure. The brain trauma team in London is well versed in this type of injury and it's the best place for her to be."

"Surgery?" Scott whispered. "She might need surgery?" His stomach twisted at the thought of Tessa having to undergo brain surgery. Because of him. His fault.

"She may. But even if surgery isn't required, there's no real way of telling how the injury has affected her until she wakes up." Doctor Knowles flipped the papers on his clip board. "I know you are from the London area and, honestly, the team there is the very best. Tessa will be in the best of hands and you can be comfortable at home and with your family."

"What are the possibilities, doctor?" Jim asked, taking Kate's hand in his. "Will she be able come back from this?"

"Possibilities are temporary paralysis, permanent paralysis, speech impediment, memory loss." The doctor stopped suddenly when he looked up and saw Scott's face blanch. "Those are the worst case scenarios. Tessa is young and healthy. That will certainly be helpful in her recovery."

Jim and Kate huddled together and consulted each other. Scott could only sit, stunned, as they occasionally glanced over at him. 

"Scott. We think it would be for the best for Tessa to go home." Jim moved his chair closer to the young man. "We would like you to come with us. We both think having you there would be instrumental in helping Tessa recover from this." 

Scott rested his elbows on his knees and lowered his face into his hands. His shoulders shook slightly as the tears began. He had been trying to stay positive, stay strong, to believe Tessa was going to be 'just fine' until the severity of her accident had just been laid bare before him. He could never forgive himself for this. "No." he choked out. 

Kate and Jim looked at each other. "We understand if you'd rather stay here and continue training." Kate told him, trying to keep her voice level and soothing. Their daughter was in critical condition, but Scott was suffering too. "We really do want you to come back with us. It's important for Tessa to have family with her. I think it's important for you, right now, to be with your family too." 

"Me?" Scott raised his head slowly. "You're worried about me? T is lying in there, because of me. How can you worry about me?"

Kate and Jim stood and wrapped their arms around Scott. "You're like a son to us, Scott. You're going to need help getting through this too. We all need each other right now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very slight changes to this one. Just some wording phrases and spelling corrections.


	3. The Drive Home

Scott stuffed a few necessities into his overnight bag and set it on his bed beside his open suitcase. He had finally decided to go back to London after a few anguished phone calls between his parents and himself. Tessa's parents had already flown back and Tessa herself had been airlifted shortly after their conversation with the doctor the day before. He knew in his heart it was the right decision. There wasn't anything he could do here but skate and he didn't want to, he couldn't skate without Tessa. He wasn't sure he'd ever want to skate again. There wasn't anything he could do back home either. But, as everyone was telling him, he would be with family and with Tessa. It was the best place for him. Everyone thought so. He idly picked a few items out of his closet and tossed them haphazardly in the suitcase. He was operating in a sort of haze, the events and news of the past 24 hours still sinking in. He looked around the small apartment, making sure there was nothing else he would need that he might not already have at home. With a small nod, he zipped the suitcase shut and placed it by the door. After a final look around, he dug his keys out of his pocket and locked the door. Glancing down, he eyed Tessa's apartment key, identified with a capital T written on a piece of masking tape.

Stepping into the apartment across the hall, Scott silently surveyed the bright room. It had the standard furniture that came with all the rooms, but she had throws and pillows tossed artfully over the sofa, along with various other modern touches to make it a uniquely Tessa space. He picked up a sweater she had draped over a chair, and, recognizing it as one of her favourite practice sweaters, he hung it over his arm. He'd put it in his luggage for her. He wandered over to her dining area and studied the photos on the wall shelf by the table. Photos of her family, photos of her with friends and photos of him and photos of them. He felt a tear starting to run down his cheek and he turned away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the little black stuffed cat wearing a tutu sitting on the edge of a chair. Scott had bought it for her at a competition when they were just kids and she took it everywhere with her. He tucked that into the crook of his arm as well. Tessa would want her lucky cat, maybe she would bring her some good luck this time.

Scott had decided to drive home figuring that the drive would give him some time to wrap his head around everything. It was a fairly uneventful drive, Scott had his Ipod fully loaded with driving tunes and the cars on the highway were moving smoothly. He spent a lot of the drive thinking and trying to stay positive about Tessa's injury. He thought about what he, about what they, would do when Tessa was back on her feet. If she'd even speak to him, she would call the shots, if she wanted to quit, they'd quit. If she wanted a new partner...so be it. When he was a few hours away from London, the phone rang. Scott pushed the button to engage the hands free phone. 

"Hello?"

"Scott? Where are you?"

"Hey, mom. I'm just outside of Toronto. Gonna take a break soon."

"I want you to drive safely, but you need to get home as quickly as you can, Scott."

"What's wrong mom, did something..."

"It's Tessa, Scott. They rushed her into surgery just a few minutes ago."

Scott made record time on the rest of his drive. He stopped only to eat and rest his head on the steering wheel for a few moments. He pulled into the hospital emergency parking lot just before eight in the evening. He rushed into the emergency room and asked the first person he saw where he could find Tessa. After following directions to the Intensive Care wing, he exited the elevator and went to the nurses station.

"I need to see Tessa Virtue." he stated.

"I'm sorry sir." said the nurse, not looking up from her papers. "Miss Virtue is just out of surgery and in critical condition, only family is allowed in at this time."

"But I am..." Scott began and then quieted. He wasn't family. 

"I'm sorry Mr. Moir. You are on the list to visit." The nurse looked up, her eyes sympathetic. "I'll show you to her room."

The nurse knocked lightly on the door before she opened it. "Mr. and Mrs. Virtue? Mr. Moir is here."

"Scott!" Tessa's parents enveloped him in a hug. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

They began talking to him but Scott couldn't hear anything. He could only stare at Tessa lying still in the hospital bed, her face pale white under the bruises and her half her head shaved bare with draining tubes emerging from the drilled holes in her skull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has left kudos and comments! While I have been a fan of Tessa and Scott since they were wee babes, this is far outside my normal realm of writing subjects. I hope you all continue to enjoy the story!


	4. Sobering News

"We really appreciate you coming all this way to visit Tessa." Kate hugged Danny and his wife in turn. "It means so much to all of us."

"She's like my sister. I couldn't imagine not being here." Danny brushed his fingers lightly over Tessa's arm. 

"The whole family has been just wonderful. So helpful and supportive." Kate sat beside Tessa's bed. "I mean, you travelled so far, and your brother, your parents. It's just been so nice to..." Kate stopped, her emotions getting the best of her. "Thank you." she managed to choke out. 

"This is hard for me to ask, but, is something wrong with Scott?" Jim asked. "We've only seen him here once just after he arrived from Montreal." 

"What are you talking about?" Danny asked, mystified. "We haven't seen Scott since we've been home. I guess we figured he's been spending all his time here."

"This has really affected him." Jim voice was full of concern. "He's blaming himself for this."

"Well, I can't stand seeing her like this, I can only imagine how it's affecting Scott." Danny mused. "Mom said he came up with the move she fell on." 

"That's what he told us." Kate spoke up. "He kept saying she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

"We understand how he feels, honestly." Jim began, "We don't blame him in any way. But please don't think we are being selfish when we say that having Scott here would help Tessa recover."

"Just being able to hear his voice might pull her out of this." Kate continued. "The doctors told us that the more familiar voices she hears the more she might respond."

"This isn't like him." Danny leaned against the wall and sighed. "I think I know where to find him. I'll have a talk with him."

 

Danny spied Scott from the door and walked over to the bar, sliding silently onto the barstool beside him. 

"What the hell are you doing, Scott?"

Scott kept staring at the hockey game playing on the TV and lifted his glass. "I'm having a drink and trying to watch the game."

Danny called the bartender over and ordered a beer, trying to not let his anger at his younger brother boil over.

"You've been here a lot these past couple of weeks, haven't you?" 

"I've been working at the store. Uncle Paul needs the extra hands right now."

"You've been here more, I bet."

"Leave me alone Danny." 

Danny grasped his brothers bicep suddenly and tightly. "We need to take this somewhere more private. You and I need to talk."

Scott sneered at his brother. "We have nothing to talk about."

Still holding tightly to his arm, Danny jerked him swiftly off the stool. "Yes we do, Let's go." Danny marched him to a quiet corner of the bar, pushing Scott into a back booth where they wouldn't be overheard or interrupted.

"What the hell, Danny?" Scott erupted. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I'm the one who should be asking you that. How many times have you been to see Tessa in the past two weeks?"

Scott paled. The image of Tessa lying in bed, bruised and still burned into his brain. "I've seen her." he said, hesitantly. "I've been there." 

"Her parents told me today that you haven't been there since just after her surgery." 

"They're wrong." Scott protested, feebly. "They're worried about...they don't know."

"They know and they're hurt, Scott." Danny informed him. "They thought Tessa meant more to you than just a partner."

Scott ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I care about her." he whispered. "I do."

"Funny way to show you care about her. Totally ignore her."

"She's not even awake. She doesn't know if I'm there or not." Scott frowned. "And if she was awake, she wouldn't want me there."

"You are too god damn stupid or blind to see what's been right in front of you almost your whole life."  
Danny pounded his fist on the table.

"What?" Scott's brain was fuzzy from the alcohol he'd consumed. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you really think T is going to hate you when she recovers?" Danny reached out to his brother and frowned when he jerked away. "She cares about you. Don't you think she'll forgive you?"

"I don't know!" Scott burst out. "I can't forgive myself, why should she?"

Danny shook his head. "It was an accident, little brother, just a freak accident."

Scott took a swig from his drink and shook his head.

"The doctor told the Virtues today that Tessa may be able to hear her visitors, be able to process what we say. How do you think not hearing your voice is going to make her feel?"

Scott waved his brothers words off. "I'll go to see her, okay? Is that what you want me to say?"

"No." Danny leaned across the table and jabbed his finger in Scott's chest. "I want you to tell me why you're behaving like such an ass!"

Scott twisted in the seat so that he was facing away from his brother. He picked up his drink, then set it down. "I'm scared, okay? I'm scared."

Danny softened. Finally, Scott was willing to admit that she cared about his partner. "It's okay to be scared."

Scott swiped at the tears that had begun to fall down his face. "I'm terrified, actually. I don't know why I'm acting like this." He picked up his drink again and took a long swallow. "I'm all messed up."

"Scott, it's okay, honestly." He reached over and took Scott's restless hands in his. "This is a scary situation and there's a lot to be concerned about. But you can't drown your sorrows in this shit and ignore the issue."

"I don't want to, but when I saw her lying there, Danny, I just..." Scott let his voice trail off. "I saw my future fading away, does that make any sense?"

Danny felt his anger rising again. "Do you mean you saw your career fading away? You're worried about your career?"

"No." Scott kept his voice just above a whisper. "My life."


	5. The Return

Scott nervously wandered down the hall, slowly making his way to Tessa's room. He had gone home after talking to his brother and, after sobering up, he had come to the realization that he had totally been ignoring Tessa. They had been partners for all this time and he had never done this, he had never not been there for her no matter what. They had to deal with injuries before, even surgeries and had come through just fine. Why was this situation so different? Reaching her room, Scott leaned against the door and peered in the small window. Seeing Tessa, lying so still, made his breath catch. Scott knocked lightly on the door and opened it a crack.

"is it okay if I come in?" His voice cracked, he felt like he was on the verge of tears and tried to push the feeling away.

"Scott!" Kate set down her book and rushed over to envelope Scott in a hug.

Jim joined them from the opposite side of the room. "You are always welcome, Scott, you don't have to ask."

"We're so happy to see you." Kate lightly brushed the tears that Scott had tried to hold back from his cheeks. "Tess will be glad to hear your voice, maybe not hearing you has been what's held her back."

"I'm so sorry. I've been an ass. I really don't know..." Scott began.

"Son, just stop." Jim set a hand on Scott's shoulder. "You don't need to apologize. We know this is a difficult, stressful situation. We don't care about what held you back, we're just glad you're here now."

Scott shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "Thank you sir. I'm here for Tess now. I'm not leaving her ever again."

Kate and Jim exchanged glances, each with small smiles. "We'll let you have some time with Tess. She's probably getting bored with hearing us all the time."

 

Scott took some hesitant steps towards Tessa's bed, then turned quickly when the door clicked open.

"Oh!" The nurse stopped and put her hand on her chest. "We didn't think anyone was in here. We saw the Virtues leave the room a few moments ago."

"I can leave." Scott said, in a strained voice. 

"Oh, not necessary." she assured him, in a cheerful voice. "I just need to check her vitals quickly. The nurse checked numbers on the machines hooked to his partner and jotted them on the chart. She gently ran her hands over Tessa's throat, chest and wrists and again noted in the chart before hanging it back on the hook at the end of the bed. 

"She's a strong girl, Mr.Moir." The nurse took his hand in hers. "She'll pull through this. Just be there for her, that's all she needs now." She patted his hand and bustled out of the room.

Scott watched the door shut behind the nurse and turned back to Tessa. He moved a sweater and book from the chair beside the bed and sat down. Then he stood back up and pulled the chair as close to the bed as he could. Seated once more, he tenderly lifted Tessa's hand and held it to his cheek.

"I don't even know how to start T. It's my fault you're in here and I can't even be bothered to visit you. I'm an ass and I deserve whatever you give me when you wake up. But, I'm here now and I'm not leaving. I mean it. I'm here for good, you're stuck with me." Scott chuckled softly. "I guess you've always been stuck with me, right?" 

He squeezed her hand carefully. "We need you to wake up T. I need you to wake up." Scott traced his fingers over her pale, bruised forehead, careful to avoid the bandages and tubes. "I can't forgive myself for putting you in here T. I never will. The only thing that will make me feel better is you waking up. You getting better. Just you, Tessa." Scott wiped his face, tears falling once more. "Please come back to us Tessa. We need you. I need you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in this next chapter. It's a short one, but I wanted to get something out since it's been so long. I've been so busy with work and life and the Olympics of course! Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and the kudos, they are so much appreciated. I hope you continue to enjoy.


	6. Waking Up

Scott's life quickly became almost boringly routine. He spent every other morning at the rink, helping out where he could on ice and just practicing by himself if he wasn't needed. He was updating their coaches on Tessa's condition and they begged him to keep skating. He wondered why at first, but soon found it relieved some stress and allowed him a few moments where he could just be alone with his thoughts. He spend his free mornings at the skate shop, delighting customers surprised to see him working behind a cash register. Afternoons were spent at the hospital and after a quick drive home to shower and eat, he was back at the hospital for the evening. Tessa hadn't shown any response to them as yet, but she remained stable and her vital statistics were as normal as they could be for someone in her situation. Doctors had reassured her family that this was normal, her body was healing and she would respond when ready. 

Skate Canada officials had contacted Scott and convinced him that he needed to do a televised interview to steer off the press that were hounding their offices. Scott grudgingly agreed. He personally thought it was no ones business but theirs and the families, but since no one had said anything officially since the accident and people were surely talking and wondering where the team had disappeared to. The interview was to air during the season preview on the national network. Scott had tried to remain upbeat and convince them that Tessa was on the mend and that the team would be back on the ice soon. 

"So this accident happened in practice?" The interviewer began, pulling no punches.

"Yes." Scott considered his words carefully. "We were working on our new free program and trying a new lift. It didn't quite work out." Scott chuckled ruefully. 

"We heard reports that Tessa was airlifted to London in an emergency situation?" 

Scott grimaced. "Tessa was flown to London to be closer to home and her family. She's recovering well and the doctors thought being home would be best for her."

"So, you are still planning on participating in competition this season?" the host asked.

"As long as Tessa gets the go ahead from her doctors, we are. She's a tough girl and she's very competitive. I guarantee she'll be out there as soon as they let her." 

"Well the skating community was very excited to hear of your return, and I'm sure they are even more anxious now to see the debut of your programs."

Scott smiled half heartedly, knowing that he was lying through his teeth. "We are anxious to show them to you. We've been working hard on them. We'll be back soon"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay T, if you didn't think I liked you before, you'll have to admit to it now." Scott entered the hospital room carrying a small CD player, a large grocery bag and stack of books. He set the books and bag by his chair and plugged the appliance into the wall. "I've got every Hall and Oates CD known to man for you to listen to and I'm going to read you Pride and Prejudice." Scott sighed dramatically and settled into the chair, taking Tessa's hand in his. "You know both of these things go against everything I believe in, right?" He brushed her cheek gently. "The things I do for you." 

Scott loosely held Tessa's hand in his while he read aloud from her favourite book. He had her favourite band playing softly in the background and eventually his eyes started to close as he drifted off. As his body relaxed, the book fell from his grasp and into his lap, before sliding to the floor with a thud. Scott shifted and stretched, but remained asleep. The stresses of the last few weeks had released their hold on him briefly and allowed him to relax relatively worry free.

"Why'd you stop?"

The slight plaintive whisper made Scott's eyes fly wide open and he reached for Tessa's hand. 

"T? Are you awake?" Scott leaned over the bed and stared into his partners face. "Really awake?"

"What are you...oh...my head...hurts...Scott?" Tessa's eyes rolled up and her lids fluttered open and shut.

Scott leaped off his chair. "I'm getting the doctor T, everything is going to be fine!"

Out in the hall, Scott ran frantically to the nurses station at the end of the hallway, He hammered viciously on the bell when no one appeared at the desk.

"Mr. Moir, you need to keep it down, the patients can't be disturbed like this." A nurse appeared from behind a filing cabinet and chided him.

"She's awake, she talked to me. But something is wrong. You need to get a doctor right away!"

The doctor entered the room a few minutes after Scott had returned to the room. Tessa seemed to still be awake, she was moaning lightly and trying to touch her head. Scott was gently grasping her by the wrists and reassuring her that the doctor was coming.

"She talked to me. She said her head hurt." Scott repeated. "She's been restless and upset since I got back to the room."

"Can you wait out in the hall, Mr. Moir?" At Scott's nodded refusal, the doctor touched him on the shoulder. "Please. You can come back in as soon as I'm done. You can notify her family if you like."

"I'll be right outside T, I promise, I'll be back." Scott kissed her forehead and reluctantly left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another little chapter. I'm really sorry for the shortness of these, but hope you are still enjoying!


	7. Awake

The entire Virtue family arrived as soon as they could after Scott's call. They entered Tessa's room to see Scott tenderly holding her shoulders and whispering to her as Tessa's head tossed back and forth.

"They want to talk to you about her condition." Scott looked up, his face somber. "She talked to me, I don't care what they try to tell you." 

"What do you mean?" Tessa's sister, Jordan moved closer to the bed and rested her hand on Tessa's arm. "She woke up?"

"The doctor said she's just reacting, her body is starting to come out of whatever she's in." Scott leaned down to whisper in Tessa's ear and her body visibly relaxed. "He said she's still not aware of where she is."

"Can you tell us what happened?" Kate asked. 

"I was reading to her and playing her music." Scott looked up at the family and realized the music was still playing. "Hall and Oates." He let a ghost of a grin drift over his face. "I fell asleep and dropped the book. Tessa asked me why I stopped. She heard me. She understood me." Scott insisted. "Then I asked her if she was awake and she started to ask me what I was talking about, then she said my name and that it hurt." 

"That's when the doctor came in?" Jim leaned over his daughter and touched her cheek. 

"I went to get one, yeah, and he kicked me out while he checked her over." Scott recounted, bitterly. "But she's been like this ever since. Restless, moaning, trying to talk. She settles a bit when I talk to her."

"We'll see what the doctor has to say." Jim looked to his family. "But you are the first one to get any sort of reaction from her, so it has to mean something."

"I want to stay with her, if that's okay with you." Scott asked. "Please let me know what they have to say."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scott leaned down over Tessa again and whispered into her ear. "I'm here T. They can't make me leave again. I won't do it."

Tessa let a sigh escape and turned her head toward Scott.

"I don't know what's going on in there, T." Scott murmured. "But I know you're back. You just have to fight. You have to show them you're in there."

"Maybe I'll read some more to you, would you like that?" Scott reach down to pick up the book that had been forgotten in his haste to get to the nurses station earlier in the evening. He turned the pages slowly to locate the page he had left off on. The book was definitely not one he would ever choose to read, but if Tessa liked it and was reacting to it, he would struggle through it. 

"Okay, I think this is where we were." Scott resumed his reading, holding the book in one hand and reaching down to clasp her hand in his. After a few chapters, he could feel his eyes slipping shut again, but he refused to stop reading. Tessa had relaxed and her moaning had eased as well. He wondered where the family was and what could be taking so long. He set the book down briefly to swipe at his eyes. He had to stay awake this time.

"Scott?"

Scott whipped his head up at the slight whisper. At the same time, the Virtues re-entered the room. Scott held his hand up in a silent warning for quiet. 

"Tess? I'm here Tess." Scott leaned over her.

"I...here...it hurts...so much..." Tessa worked hard to get the words out, breathing heavily between each word. "Why?" Her chest rose and fell with her exertions. 

"Take it easy." Scott patted her shoulders. "We are all here, your mom and dad, your sister, your brothers." 

"P...pain..." Tessa reached for her head. Scott held her one hand and gestured to her brother to hold the other. 

"I know, I know." Scott kept his voice low and soothing. "We're going to get something for you to make it better." At Scott's look, Jordan rushed out of the room and, hopefully, in search of a nurse or doctor.

"It's okay Tess." Casey reached up with his free hand to stroke her cheek and Tessa began to thrash about on the bed. Casey released her hand and tried to hold her steady.

"Sc...sc...Scott?" she whimpered.

Scott shook his head and pushed Casey away. "Tess, listen to me. I'm here." He took both her hands and held them firmly. 

"D...don't...leave...who...was?" Tessa took a gasping breath.

"Don't worry. I'm not leaving." Scott looked to the family with sad eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you like that. She just doesn't understand what's..."

"What's going on here?" Tessa's doctor entered the room, with Jordan on his heels. He took a quick look at Tessa and noted her anxiety and her heavy breathing. He gave Scott, who was still holding her hands and leaning over her, a glare and addressed the family. "I told you she wasn't to be upset." 

"She spoke." Kate said, excitedly. "We all heard her."

"She's responding to Scott." Jim replied. "Whatever he's doing is getting through to her."

"That's nonsense." The doctor waved his hand. "Her readings show nothing of the sort."

"She's in pain and you need to do something for her." Scott tried to keep his voice down, but his anger was quickly rising. "She's in there and she's hurting."

"We have her on a drip for the pain." The doctor motioned to the jumble of tubes at Tessa's side. 

"She needs something more!" Scott yelled and hung his head quickly. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." 

"You, young man, need to leave right now. I'm barring this room to family only as of now. You are hindering this patients progress and causing her family unwarranted stress."

"Hold on a minute!" Jim pushed his way to Scott's side. "This young man is going nowhere."

Kate moved to stand beside her husband. "Scott is the only one who has gotten any response from our daughter. He's promised her he would be here and we are not letting him break that promise."

"You don't understand." 

"No, you don't understand." Jim put his hand on Scott's shoulder. "This young man is as much a member of our family as Tessa is. He's not leaving."


	8. The Voice of Calm and Comfort

"I'm so sorry. I was out of line." Scott apologized as soon as the doctor left the room, Mr. Virtue following close behind him. "I was wrong to take over like that. It's just..." Scott hung his head. "I'm used to taking care of her. I know when she's in real pain. Tessa never complains about feeling any pain until she's past the point. She's so tough, she's a fighter, she just never..." Scott stopped talking and ran his hands over his face. "I'm babbling, sorry. She belongs to you, you know all this."

Kate rubbed Scott's shoulder "We know. She's a tough one." she smiled sadly.

"I hope dad gets rid of that guy." Kevin muttered, "What a jackass. He's not helping anyone."

"I'm sure he's dealing with him right now." Jordan assured him. "He won't put up with that attitude."

"Scott." Tessa's feather light voice stopped them all.

"T? What's wrong?" Scott brushed the palm of his hand over her cheek.

"Tessa, darling." Kate took her daughters hand in hers. "It's so good to hear your voice."

"Who...so...many...people." She sighed and tried to draw in a deep breath. "I...don't know...who...here?"

Scott looked at Tessa, then her family, in confusion. "It's your family T. Kevin, Jordan, Casey, your mom and dad."

"No!" She shook her head emphatically and started to thrash about again. "No!"

"Tessa." Kate leaned over the bed, keeping a gentle hold on Tessa's hand. "Sweetie, it's mom."

"No!" Tessa pushed her hand away and tried to twist her body away from the direction of the voice. "Scott?" She cried out.

"I'm here, I'm here." Scott took her hands and pressed them together. "Relax now. You're alright. I'm here."

Scott turned to see Jordan holding her mother, Kate's shoulders shaking, surrounded by Kevin and Casey. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what she's hearing. I'm sorry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"I've given her a sedative to help her sleep and calm her down some." A new doctor sat at his desk across from the family and Scott. He looked pointedly at Scott, who was bouncing his knee restlessly and kept staring at the doorway. "I know you promised her you wouldn't leave, she won't know, I promise." He lifted some papers and set them aside before addressing them again. "My name is Doctor Bering. I need to apologize for my colleague. He was more than out of line."

"Thank you Doctor." Jim shook the doctors hand. "We just want Tessa to have the best care. That man did not have our daughters best interests at heart."

"I can see where your concern was coming from." he shifted some more papers. "Miss Virtue was not on the correct level of medication for the severity of her injury and the surgery that followed. She should be feeling better once the new medication gets into her. With that and the fact that she's started talking a bit, we may have positive results a little sooner."

"Why doesn't she recognize her family?" Scott asked, quietly. "She only knows my voice." 

Dr. Bering sat back in his chair and pulled his glasses off. "The brain is a funny thing. Her amnesia, if that is what this is, it most likely is not permanent. My best guess would be that, as she pulls out of this, she is focusing on the voice that is most calming and comforting to her. That would be yours, Mr. Moir."

"Me?" Scott's voice almost squeaked it was pitched so high in surprise. "But, I'm just..."

"I know who you are. You have been her constant for many, many years. I'm a big fan, as are my daughters." The doctor grinned. 

Scott blushed. "Thank you, but, I'm hardly the most important person to her. This is her family!"

Jim and Kate shared a knowing glance. "Scott, you sell yourself short. You are very important to our daughter." Kate said. "And our family."

"It is a little upsetting that she doesn't recognize us right now, but she will." Jim said. "Right now, her recovery is the most important thing to all of us, if your being with her is helping with that recovery..."

"Keep talking to her!" Jordan burst out. "Scott, you're the only one to get anything out of her. Please help my sister come back to us!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Tess." Scott entered the room and pulled his chair closer to the bed. "I'm sorry you've been so upset." He took her hand and rubbed the pad of his thumb on her knuckles. "We all want you to come back to us and recover quickly."

He leaned back in the chair and sighed loudly. "I don't know why my voice is the only one you recognize, but your mom and dad and everybody, they're sad. They want to talk to you too. But they understand that maybe, I don't know why, my voice is comforting to you." 

He chuckled softly. "Shit, you'd think this is the last voice you'd want to hear. Years and years of my manly voice, whining at you and you never listened to me." He could hear the Virtues laughing on the other side of the room and he broke into a genuine smile. "And now I'm the only one you want to listen to!"

Tessa's mouth twitched slightly but her eyes remained closed and her body relaxed. Scott released her hand and tucked the blankets firmly around her shoulders. "I'm gonna go home and try to get some sleep, but I'll be back tomorrow, first thing." Scott promised. "We've got more Pride and Prejudice to get through. I need to rest up!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scott entered the hospital carrying a tray of coffee for himself and the Virtues. He'd been spending so much time at the hospital, staff was greeting him by name and offering good wishes for him to pass on to his partner. Stepping out of the elevator, he waved to the nurses at the station by Tessa's room. The Virtues had been amazing, giving him space to be with Tessa, allowing him to try and draw her out of the seemingly unbreakable shell she was existing in. They would sit in the room, watchful but silent, allowing Tessa to hear the voice that was calming her and, more importantly, healing her.

Scott plugged the CD player in and set it near Tessa's bed. Kate and Jim had ventured out for a walk around the grounds of the hospital to stretch their legs and get a bit of fresh air. Scott was still trying to wade through Pride and Prejudice, there had been many times during the past week he had wanted to give it up and read something more his style, but this was for Tessa. He'd finish it even if it killed him. For Tessa.

He sat with the book on his lap and just watched Tessa lying still in her hospital bed. He felt a wave of emotion rush over him and tears pricked his eyes. He had always had feelings for Tessa, regardless of how many girls he had dated over the years. In reality it had always been Tessa. It wasn't until recently that he began to feel that she cared about him in the same way. After they mutually decided to call it a competitive day after a disappointing 2014 Olympics, they spent the least amount of time together in their lives. They both thought it would be good for them. Meet new people, do new things, get away from the rink for awhile. Scott hated it. He tried other things, went out with several girls, travelled a bit, but something or someone was missing. When he approached Tessa with the idea of returning to competition, she had been unsure.

_"Do you really want to go through all that again, Scott, really?" She asked him, plaintively._

_"I miss it." he answered her. "I miss the drive and the dedication, the focus, having a purpose."_

_"I don't know." she mused. "I kind of miss it too, but going back to competition? All the mind games, the judging, the federation crap? God, I don't miss that."_

_"I miss you." Scott's voice was barely higher than a whisper._

_"What?" Tessa eyed him sharply. "What did you say?"_

_"I miss skating with you every day, I miss seeing you everyday." Scott looked up and into Tessa's green eyes. She was scrutinizing him with a slight smile on her face._

_"You miss me?" her voice was light and he could hear tell she was trying to contain her laughter._

_"Tessa. I'm totally serious here." He grabbed her hands. " I miss not being able to see you every day. I think we could come back and win everything. I think we could win the Olympics. I really do."_

_"Really? The Olympics? Again?" Tessa shook her head. "I don't know."_

_"We need to do it for us, T." Scott voice started to rise with his excitement. "I know it's a lot of work. But everything we've ever done has been for other people. We did what they wanted, the music they wanted us to skate to, costumes they wanted us to wear. This would be for us."_

_Tessa curled up in the corner of her sofa and took a sip of her tea. "For us. I do like the sound of that."_

_Scott watched her continue to sip her tea, lost in her thoughts, hoping beyond hope that she would see things his way._

_"I miss seeing you every day too." Tessa finally murmured as she reached a hand towards his head. "Are you letting your hair go long?"_

Scott chuckled at the memory. She had never really said yes, she just started talking about finding music to fit his hair and it all fell into place.

"Well, I guess I should start reading our latest chapter." Scott opened the book and settled back in the chair. As he started to read, he felt a cool touch on his arm. 

"Scott?"

Scott set the book down and moved closer to the bed. "T! You're awake!"

Tessa grasped Scott by the arm tightly and looked around with wide, frightened eyes. "Scott? I can't see you!"


	9. Hope and Pain

Scott waited anxiously in the hall watching for Tessa's parents to return. He had ran to the nurses station to have them alert Dr. Bering and, once he arrived, orderlies soon wheeled Tessa off for tests. Tessa had begged him to stay with her, but Dr. Bering had sadly shook his head and insisted Scott stay behind. He could still feel the iron grip Tessa had on his hand and the way his heart felt like it was tearing in two when they pulled her away. Unable to sit still, Scott paced the hallway in front of the room until he saw the Virtues approaching.

"Scott, what's wrong?" Kate demanded. "Did something happen?"

"She woke up, Tessa woke up, she talked...a little, but, oh shit." Scott stopped to take in a breath. "She told me she couldn't see! Her eyes were wide open and she couldn't see me! They...they took her for some tests. Told me to stay here. Tess wanted me with her. She's terrified. Fuck!" Scott slammed his fist into the door of Tessa's room and sucked back a hiss of pain. 

"Scott!" Kate exclaimed. 

"I'm fine, I'm okay." he extended his fingers and curled them back into a fist, wincing as the pain burst fresh. "Sorry, I'm just..." He hadn't meant to let his emotions get the better of him, but the look on Tessa's face as they wheeled her away had hurt more than he cared to admit.

"You've broken something." Jim took him by the arm. "Let's get some ice for that hand."

Scott allowed himself to be walked down to the nurses station and gratefully accepted the wrapped ice pack for his swelling hand. The nurses showed them to a private waiting area and assured them Dr. Bering would see them as soon as possible.

Once inside, Scott sat restlessly, bouncing his knees up and down. "Why is it always Tess? Why is she the one always hurt? It should be me." 

"That's not true." Kate began, "There was the time you..."

"No, I never. I fall...a lot." Scott chuckled, ruefully. "Nothing like this. I feel so...." He gestured helplessly with his swollen hand. "I don't know what to do for her."

"How's your hand?" Jim pulled the conversation back to Scott. "Is the ice helping or do we need an xray?"

Scott flexed his hand a couple of times and formed a tight fist. "I think it's okay. It's gonna hurt for awhile, but that's okay too. It's not a bad thing that I carry some pain too."

"Mr. and Mrs. Virtue, Scott. Could I see you in my office?" Dr. Bering entered the waiting room and handed Scott a pain relief pill and gestured to the water cooler in the corner. "I hear you had a run in with a door, this might help some."

Once settled into the office, Dr. Bering pulled Tessa's file out and opened it on his desk. "Your Miss Virtue is keeping us all on our toes with her injury." he began.

"Is she blind?" Scott could barely bring himself to ask the question.

"Right now, yes." Dr. Bering answered. "But don't lose hope. I have the results of her tests here. Now, what happened when Miss Virtue fell is that she hit the back of her head on the ice, resulting in what we call a cerebral contusion. This resulted in the brain swell and bleeding that she needed the surgery for. This blindness happens quite often with this type of injury. It's not always a total blindness. Sometimes the patient can make out shapes, sometimes it affects one eye more than the other."

"I did this to her." Scott whispered, swiping his good hand over his face. "Oh my God."

"Now I do have some good news here. Also quite often, once the bleeding stops and the swelling subsides the blindness goes away. We couldn't determine any damage to her eyes or optic nerves. This particular type of blindness is called cortical blindness. We can't determine how long this might affect her, and unfortunately, she may retain some vision loss. It's something we can't foresee, it's really is entirely how Miss Virtue recovers. 

"Can I go see her?" Scott was practically out of his seat before he finished the question. "The Virtues can let me know the rest."

"You may go, she is awake. But I want you to remember one thing." Scott looked at the doctor expectantly. He wanted to be with Tessa, he needed to be with her. "This was a freak accident. It was no ones fault." 

As Scott walked to Tessa's room he tried to process the information he'd just been given. He had to look on the positive side. She'd be fine. She'd be just fine As he went to open her door, he realized that he didn't know how much Tessa knew about her injury. "Damn it." he cursed under his breath. 

"What's wrong? Is that...Scott?" Tessa. She was awake. 

"Hey T." He pulled what he had claimed as his chair up beside her bed and put on a big smile. "You've decided to join us again?"

"I'm so sore. I hurt everywhere." She lifted the hand Scott wasn't holding. "And all these tubes and wires."

Her voice was so small and plaintive, it tore at Scott's heart.

"I'm so sorry, T" Scott bent down and brushed his lips across her cheek. "So sorry."

"I don't...I can't remember anything." she murmured. "I'm so scared, Scott." She gripped his hand tightly. "Wait...what's wrong with your hand?"

"I may or may not have had an incident with a door." Scott couldn't help but laugh. "Tess, you amaze me."

"What do you mean?" She turned her head gingerly to face him.

"With all this going on, you notice my hand is a little swollen and you start to worry about me."

She gave him a little smile. "Why are you punching doors, Mr. Scott Moir?"

"I promised you I wouldn't leave you." He stroked her hands, tracing patterns on the backs of them. "They wouldn't let me go with you and I knew you were scared. I was angry." Scott lowered his head. "Angry and stupid. It really hurts now, but it's nothing."

"Temper, temper." she giggled, the sound so light and airy. "How's the door, still standing?"

"May we come in?" Jim and Kate knocked on the door in question.

"Mom!" Tessa's eyes searched the room. 

"Oh darling you remember! I'm so...it's so good...oh..." Kate cried and hugged Tessa as tightly as she could.

"I...remember...what?" Tessa looked confused. "I don't remember anything about what happened?"

"We'll tell you later. Right now, we're just so thankfully you're awake and talking. We love you sweetheart." Jim leaned down to hug his daughter. "We've been so worried about you."

"Um." Scott cleared his throat. "Does anyone want a drink? It's, um, really dry in here." He didn't want to leave, but the Virtues deserved to have time alone with their daughter. They had been so generous in allowing him to spend so much time with Tess after what he'd done. It was the least he could do. 

Scott sat in the cafeteria nursing a coffee that was too strong and that he didn't really want. He was trying to think of how to tell Tessa that everything was his fault. Trying to think of ways to ask for her forgiveness because he was beginning to think he wouldn't know what to do without her in his life.

"Here you are." Jim took the chair across from Scott and gestured to the cup Scott was currently twisting on the cracked table top. "The coffee is horrible here, isn't it?" 

Scott grinned. "Yeah, it's pretty terrible. I'll be bringing in Timmies or Starbucks from now on."

"Thank you for giving us time with Tessa." Jim reached for a water bottle at the edge of the table. "We appreciated it."

"She's your daughter." Scott said, simply. "Not my place to stay." He took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. It had gone cold and truly was horrible. He pushed the cup away. "Thank you for letting me have so much time with her."

"Scott." The sound of Jim's voice made Scott look up. It was never good news when someone sounded that serious.

"Sir, is something wrong?"

Jim smiled, "No, son. It's just, we, Kate and I, know you and Tessa are close. We appreciate you being there for our Tessa all these years. I'm not sure what she would have done or where she would be without you."

"She wouldn't be laying in a hospital bed." Scott frowned. "That's what I've done for her."

"You need to stop that." Jim pointed a finger at the young man slumped across from him. "No one is blaming you, and that includes Tessa."

Scott's face drained of all colour. "She knows? You told her?"

"She needed to know. She had many questions." Jim's voice softened. "She deserves to know what's going on with her injury and she needed to know how it happened."

"I can't face her. I can't..." 

"She wants to see you, Scott" Jim got up and pushed his chair into the table. "Kate and I are going home to contact the others and get some rest. It's been a long stressful day."

"She must hate me." 

"She most certainly does not." Jim took Scott's elbow and lifted him up from the table. "Go. She's waiting for you."


	10. The Truth

Scott hesitated outside Tessa's door. He had heard Jim's words, that they had told Tessa what had happened and that she wasn't angry with him, but he couldn't quite believe it. His thoughts went back to the time after Tessa's first leg surgery. How they had drifted apart. How they seemingly forgot how to be a couple - skating or otherwise. He knew part of that had been because he just wasn't there. Tess had been in London recovering and he had been in Michigan skating with awkward tweens with stars in their eyes and weighted hockey sticks. That had been the worst time in the whole of their partnership and neither one of them could bear to speak about it to this day. He didn't think he could handle going through that again. He hoped against hope that she wouldn't make him go through it again. He unknowingly ran his fingers over the mark his fist had left on the door as he gazed in the small window. Tessa lay in the bed, looking small and frail, her arms at her sides. Her eyes were open and unmoving, staring up at the ceiling.

"T?" Scott pushed the door open and stepped just inside, unwilling to go over to beside her. "Your dad told me you wanted...um...wanted to see me?"

Tessa turned her head towards the sound of Scott's voice. "Come sit with me, won't you?" 

"Tess, I...I'm" Scott stammered. He could feel the awkwardness creeping in and tried to push it away. 

"Scott." Her voice was soft and gentle and it crushed him. "I want you to tell me what happened." 

Scott sat stiffly in his chair, afraid to talk, afraid to touch her. "I thought your parents told you..."

"They did." she interrupted him. "They weren't there though. I want to know what really happened."

Scott shifted uncomfortably and held his breath as he cautiously reached his hand out to touch Tessa's. She grasped it firmly and Scott allowed himself to breathe as he relaxed, even if it was just by a small degree. "Please tell me." She urged. "I need to know."

Scott slowly began to recount the day of the accident. He tried to include as many details of the day as he could remember. He knew Tessa would want to know everything. He told her about their light hearted warm up and their eagerness to create new lifts for the free dance. He began to stammer again when telling her about his idea for the backflip lift.

"It does sound like it could be a great lift, if we can figure it out." Tessa encouraged him. "Did I like the idea?"

Scott stared at his partner in wonder. She was such a tough woman. Already talking about trying the damn lift that landed her in the hospital and rendered her blind. 

"Yeah, you did. You were a bit hesitant and wanted to break it down step by step, but you wanted to go for it." He told her, proudly. "You had it, it was me that screwed it up."

"I fell apparently." Tessa pouted. "I couldn't have had it that well."

Scott swallowed deeply. "You did. I mean, you didn't fall. You had it. It...I..." The only way to tell her was to get it out, say it quickly, rip it off like a band aid. "I caught a rut and I fell, I wasn't there to catch you." He waited a moment for a reaction, a yell, a scream, an accusation. "It was all my fault. I thought up the stupid lift and I wasn't there to protect you." 

He hung his head, waiting for Tessa to ask him to leave and never return. His heart pounded so loud in his chest, he was sure she could hear it and was staying silent to torture him.

"It's not your fault, Scotty." Tessa smiled as she used his childhood nickname. "I know you. I know you've been blaming yourself since it happened and it's not your fault." 

"You wouldn't be in here if I had caught you." Scott protested.

"You don't know that." Tessa countered. "You can't know that for certain."

"Tess, I'm..." he began and stopped when Tessa pulled her hand out of his clasp and held it up.

"No! I don't want to hear you say you're sorry. I won't stand for it." Tessa declared as emphatically as she could. "We have never blamed each other for anything in this partnership and we sure as hell aren't starting now."

"But I..." Deep down, Scott knew she was right. They had never argued, never fought, never blamed the other for anything. He had been an idiot to have thought she would have reacted any other way.

"If you say 'I'm sorry' one more time, I'm throwing you out." Tessa said, firmly. "It's done and now I just have to get better."

"I'm sorry I..."

"Scott Patrick Moir, get out of my room this instant!" Tessa pointed to the door.

"Let me finish, please." Scott begged. "I'm sorry I thought you'd react...differently. I should have known better." Scott reached for her hand and she allowed him to grasp it between his. "I know you aren't angry with me, but I promise it will never happen again. I'll always be there for you." He lifted her hand and kissed it softly.

"You always have been." Tessa replied, her voice had taken on a dreamy quality.

"Have been what?" Scott asked. He looked down at her and couldn't help but smile. Her eyes were closed and her lips curled in a goofy grin.

"There for me. You...always..." Her voice started to drift away. "I'm tired."

"I'll let you sleep then." Scott lifted her blankets and tucked her arm under.

"No." Tessa said petulantly. "Stay with me."

"I think your meds are kicking in." Scott sat and took her hand once more. "You're not speaking in full sentences anymore."

"Don't go." She was almost out, he could barely hear her over the beeps of the machines that surrounded her.

"Never again." Scott vowed.

"Never." Tessa repeated, and succumbed to the siren call of deep slumber.


	11. Realization

“We've missed you, hon.” Scott's mother, Alma, set a loaded breakfast plate in front of her youngest son. “You haven't been away from that hospital in weeks.”

“I need to be there, ma.” Scott lifted a forkful of eggs to his mouth. “This is really good.” he mumbled between bites.

“Thank you. Eat up.” Alma encouraged. “If you've been living on hospital food, you need some good home cooking.”

Scott nodded and dug into the delicious food eagerly. It had been a while since he'd had a proper meal and nothing was better than moms home cooking. “So good. Thanks.” One of the things Scott always looked forward to about coming home was his moms cooking. It was comforting to be able to sit in the kitchen, relax with his family, share their lives. It was why, on this rare day away from Tessa and the hospital, this was the first place he came. 

“Anytime, hon.” Alma set a steaming cup of coffee in front of Scott as he polished off his breakfast. She took a seat across from her son and sipped from her own cup. “To what do we owe the honour of this visit today? It's been so long since we've seen you. You weren't even here when Danny left.”

“Mom.” Scott shook his head, and sensing angry frustration rising, took a deep breath. “You don't understand.”

“I think I do.” Alma smiled slightly. “Anyway, is Tessa having tests today? What's going on?”

“No.” Scott took a sip of his coffee and sighed. Home brewed was so much better than whatever the hospital was trying to pass off as coffee. “Her family is there. Grandparents I think.”

“They asked you to leave?”

“No, but it's the least I could do. I need to give the Virtues their time. They've been so generous in letting me be there.”

“And she is their daughter.”

“That too.” Scott grinned, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. “I'm just lucky they've even allowed me in to see her.”

Alma caught the sad look that lingered on her sons face. She could tell it was killing him to be away from Tessa. Alma could read Scott like a book, she always could. He was never able to hide his emotions no matter how hard he tried. She knew he was holding something in and she was determined to get it out of him. “So, how is she, really?

“She's awake. But, she can't see. And she still has all those damn tubes in her head. God.” Scott shook his head. “I don't think she even knows they are there right now.”

“She's blind?” Alma lifted her hand to her mouth. How could she return to skating if she had lost her sight? “Is it permanent?”

Scott sighed heavily. “They don't know.” He took a sip of his coffee and twirled the mug in his hands. “They said it's possible once the swelling and bleeding stop that it could come back.”

“Oh my God.” Alma took Scott's hand. “I'm so sorry. How is she taking it?”

“I'm not sure. She seems positive. But she just woke up and she's on a lot of medication. Who knows if she really is aware of what's going on right now.” Scott dragged his hands through his hair. “I'm trying to stay positive and be there for her. I promised her...” His voice broke and he let the tears that he'd been holding in fall. “I'm so scared, ma.” 

Alma pushed her chair back and rushed to envelope her son in a hug. “Honey, oh Scott.”

“It's all my fault.” Scott retold the story of Tessa's injury in gasping sobs. “She's in there because of me.”

“You can't blame yourself for this, Scott. It's not healthy.”

“I convinced her to come back to skating. I thought up the damn lift. I tripped and fell. It's all on me and everyone is being so damn nice to me!” Scott's voice rose in anger. “It's my fault! And I just, I just...” Scott slumped in his chair, covering his face with his hands. 

“You just want someone to be angry with you.” Alma finished for him. “You want someone to yell and scream at you and tell you what a horrible person you are.”

“I...” Scott looked up at his mother in confusion.

“Okay, I'll tell you.” Alma stood and crossed her arms over her chest. “Scott Patrick Moir, you are an ass. How dare you fall on that ice rut that you couldn't even see? You are a goddam jerk for convincing your partner to come back to one of the things that she loves with all her heart. I don't know how anyone can stand to be around you.” Alma struggled to keep her voice stern.

“I didn't mean...” he began. 

“Don't you see how stupid it sounds, Scott? No one is going to blame you because it was an accident.” Alma sat and took his hands in hers. “You could have fallen instead of Tessa. You could have been holding her and fallen. You are not to blame here. It was a complete accident.”

“Mr. Virtue told me the same thing.” Scott sniffed. “Tessa did too, kind of.”

“And why didn't you believe them?” 

Scott scraped his chair back and picked up his dishes. “I don't know. I don't know why I'm letting it get to me so much.” He loaded the dishwasher and looked over at his mother. “You're thinking something. What are you thinking?”

“I'm thinking there is something else bothering you, and that's why you're letting this get to you so much.”

“She could have died.” Scott replied, emphatically. “That's why I'm letting it get to me.”

“But she didn't die.” Alma shot back. “She's forgiven you, and so have her parents.”

“I could have lost her!” Scott cried out. “I can't forgive myself for that.”

Alma smiled. She had always known Scott had feelings for Tessa. He'd never really come out and told her, but she didn't need to be told. A mother just knew. “How long have you loved Tessa?”

“What?” Scott whirled around to face his mother. “What are you talking about?”

“Scott, you can't fool me. This is about possibly losing Tessa.” Alma accused. “Not about her injury or feeling guilty.”

“Of course I love Tess.” Scott worked to keep his voice steady and normal as he refilled his coffee and sat back down. “She's my partner.”

“Scott.” Alma chided. “You know that's not what I meant.”

Scott shifted in his chair, his gaze focused out the kitchen window to the broad expanse of the backyard. He knew his mother was very intuitive when it came to her children. There wasn't much of a point in lying to her, because she would most certainly know. Maybe it was time to finally say it out loud to someone. Maybe this ache in his heart would lessen if he finally admitted it. He looked back at his mother, who was looking at him expectantly.

“How long have you known?”

“Scott, honey, we've known for a long time.” she smiled.

“Whose we?” Scott raised his eyebrow at her and gave her a crooked grin.

“Your dad and I, your brothers, Tessa's parents, her...”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Scott raised his hands in surrender and chuckled. “I guess I should ask who doesn't know?”

“Tessa?” Alma set her hands on Scott's once again. “Have you said anything to her?”

“I...we...” Scott began. “When I asked her about coming back to skating, I...I told her I missed her. She said she missed me too. We've...fooled around a bit.” Scott ran his hands through his hair. “This is hard to talk about with you mom.”

“I don't need details.” Alma laughed. 

“We've just been...comfortable, I guess. Everything has been easy since we've been back.”

“You need to tell her Scott. You can't carry this around any longer. She needs to know.”

“I don't know how to tell her.” Scott confessed.

“You do.” Alma patted his hands and stood up. “It's in you. You just have to find the right way to bring it out.”


	12. The Truth...part 2

Scott stepped onto the elevator carrying a colourful bouquet of flowers. He'd not been to the hospital in the last couple of days and he thought bringing Tessa flowers might help her forgive him for being away so long. Or bringing the gift might help him stop feeling so guilty about not being there. Kate had sent him several texts asking if he would mind terribly if they had some more time for family to visit. She assured him Tessa was getting stronger every day and that she was asking for him and how he was. What could he say? Family was family. It gave him time to think about what his mom had told him and too much time to think about what to say to Tessa. He exited the elevator on Tessa's floor and walked the familiar path to her room. 

“Oh Mr. Moir! Good news, Miss Virtue has been moved out of intensive care.”

Scott, lost in his thoughts, looked up in surprise.

“What? She's been moved?” The last time he had been here, Tessa had still been on heavy medications and hooked up to more machines and tubes than he could count.

“Yes indeed, here's her new room number.” The nurse handed him a slip of paper and gave him a quick hug. “She'll be very happy to see you.”

“Can she...?”

The nurse shook her head sadly. “Not yet. But the doctors are hopeful.”

Scott thanked her and turned back to the elevator. Kate hadn't said anything about Tessa being moved. He wondered what else they might have neglected to tell him. Scott's thoughts started to wander again as he searched for the new room. They didn't need to tell him anything, he supposed. He wasn't family. They were being kind just letting him still visit. He tried to convince himself the family wasn't trying to slight him in anyway. So far it wasn't working.

Scott peeked in the small window, but couldn't see anything. Thinking he might have the wrong room he rechecked the slip of paper to the number on the door, only to see that they matched. He knocked on the door and opened it slightly. “Hello?” he called out.

There was no one in the room, but he could tell it was Tessa's. There were flowers everywhere and cards of best wishes on every surface. A fluffy pink fleece throw that Tessa often travelled with lay folded back on the end of the bed. Scott was just about to leave to find the nurses station and find out what was going on, when the door opened and a wheelchair was pushed in.

“Tess!”

“Scott?” Tessa turned her head toward his voice. “I missed you! Where have you been?”

“Do you need help getting back into bed, Miss Virtue?” The orderly leaned over her shoulder. “The doctor wanted you to get some rest.”

“Scott will help me, thank you.” 

“Okay Miss, but don't get too worked up this afternoon, remember what the doctor said.”

“I will.” Tessa assured him as she lifted her arms to Scott.

Scott stood awkwardly beside the wheelchair, waiting for the orderly to leave, then he took hold of Tessa's outstretched hands. 

“Can you walk, or...?”

“I can, but I get a little, I guess disoriented, is the best word.” she confessed. “It's so funny how much things change when you can't see.”

Scott checked to make sure the lock was on the wheels and bent over Tessa. “I'm going to lift you up, okay?”

Tessa smiled and nodded. Scott secured his arms under her knees and around her back, lifting her easily out of the chair. Her arms automatically circled his neck and he heard her barely audible sigh as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

“This is the first thing to feel right since I woke up in here.” Tessa's voice was muffled and it made Scott's skin tingle when it vibrated against his throat. “Can you just hold me a little longer?”

“Only if you tell me what's happened since I was here last.” Scott kept his voice low. He paced out slow circles of the room, holding Tessa close to him, embracing her warmth. He didn't want to set her down and let this moment end. He had missed this closeness too much.

“You better put me in bed.” Tessa squeezed his shoulder after a few minutes. “You'll be in trouble if the doctor comes in and I'm not all tucked in.” Her lips tickled his ear and Scott struggled to keep his knees from buckling.

He walked to the bed and gently set her on the edge. Tessa lay back as he lifted her legs and tucked them under the covers. He adjusted the bed so she was in a semi sitting position and sat beside her before jumping up again. “Oh! I brought you flowers!” 

He grabbed them from the counter where he had laid them when she came in and pressed them into her arms. “I see you already have quite a few bouquets.” he grinned ruefully. “I'm not very imaginative, I guess.” 

“I'm sure they are beautiful.” Tessa lifted the bouquet to her nose. “They smell wonderful, Scott. What colours did you pick?”

Scott took her hand and helped her touch each one as he told her the colours. “All your favourites.”

Tessa directed him to where he could find a vase and asked him to put the flowers on the table beside her bed. “I want to be able to smell them.” she told him. “Maybe they'll be the first thing I see someday.” A wistful smile drifted over her face.

“So, what's been going on?” Scott swiftly changed the subject as he sat beside her again. “When did they move you?”

“Just this morning.” Tessa covered her mouth as a small yawn escaped. “That's why the doctor wants me to rest. There's been a lot of action today.”

So that's why Kate hadn't said anything to him. That made Scott feel a bit better “Well, you go to sleep if you need to.” Scott encouraged. “I can wait.”

“No, I'm okay. I've missed you this past few days.” Tessa relayed the visits with her family, the endless tests, the removal of the tubes and machines, the decision to move her from intensive care. “They say I'm doing really well.” she told him. “The doctors are really surprised at my recovery, I guess.”

“They don't know you like I do. They have no idea how tough and determined you are.” Scott complimented. “You are a badass figure skating chick.”

“Thanks! I don't know how badass I am.” Tessa laughed. “I do know I want to get out of here. I'll do whatever it takes. I just want to go home.”

“What about your sight?” Scott knew it was a tender subject, but one they needed to discuss.

“That's where I just came from.” Tessa sighed sadly. “They said the swelling has gone down, it looks like the bleeding has stopped. Everything looks good, but...”

Scott gently ran his hand over her shaved head, wincing slightly when his fingers hit the indentations where the tubes had been. “Give it some time T. Your recovery had been amazing. You've just got to give it time.” He brushed his lips over her forehead.

“That's what the doctors say. Give it time.” Tessa smacked a hand on the bed covers. “They can see. They don't skate. They don't understand!”

Scott grasped her hand and tenderly kissed her fingers. “Don't get worked up, T, You need to keep calm.” 

“Scott, all I can think of is never being able to see again.” Tessa's voice was low and soft, Scott had to lean in to hear her. “I haven't told anyone that. I'm trying to be so positive and happy. What if I can't see ever again? What are we going to do?” she worried.

“What are we going to do?” Scott questioned. “Is that what you're worried about?”

“Well...yeah...” Tessa admitted after a moment. “What are we going to do if I can't skate?”

“Honey.” Scott rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs. “Who said you can't skate? You can do whatever you set your mind to.”

“I won't be able to see.” Tessa explained, patiently. Then she stopped and turned toward Scott. “Wait, what? What did you call me just now?”

“Tessa?” Scott answered with a shrug.

“You called me honey.”

Damn it. Scott's mouth always got him into trouble. He was forever speaking out before he thought and ending up with his foot in his mouth and he just did it again.

“I...well...yeah.” Scott hedged. “I might have.”

“You have never, in the entire time I have known you, and that is a damn long time, ever called me honey.” Tessa challenged.

“I...damn it...T...I...well..” Scott stammered. He needed to tell her. To just get it out and see how she reacted and if she felt the same. He'd spent the better part of a week trying to figure out how to say it and came up empty. Time to just let it out.

“Tess, we need to talk about something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh...this was a hard one to get out and I'm still not super happy with it. It's one of those transitional chapters that need to happen, but don't really do anything. Blah. Anyway. More coming soon, would love to hear what you think of this, we writers live for your comments!


	13. Surprise

“Scott what's wrong?” Tessa sat straight up and reached out for him. “What have they told you?”

“What do you mean?” Scott had stood up and begun pacing at the end of the hospital bed. He needed to tell her now. No holding back, he just had to spit it out. “What has who told me?”

Falling back against the pillows, Tessa gripped her sheets so tightly that her knuckles were going white. “The doctors, what did they tell you about my condition? What's wrong with me?”

Scott circled around and sat beside Tessa on the bed. “No one has told me anything? What's wrong?”

“You called me Honey.” Tessa's voice was panicked . “You said we needed to talk. You have bad news.”

“Oh, Tess.” Scott ran his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away the tears that were running down her face. “There's no bad news, not from me.”

“Then wh..what do we need to talk about if it's not bad news?” Tessa hiccuped through her tears.

“I guess I made it sound more serious than it really is.” Scott laughed. “I'm sorry I scared you.”

“Scared me?” Tessa swatted at his hands. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Leaning over, Scott wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. The thought of anything even threatening to take Tessa from him again pained him greatly. “Please, don't even joke about that.” he whispered in her ear. “I'm sorry I frightened you.” 

“So.” Tessa wiped at her eyes and gratefully accepted the tissue that Scott pressed into her palm. “What do we need to talk about?”

Trust Tessa to want to get straight to the point, even if she'd just been scared to death at the thought of receiving bad news. He leaned back and took several deep breaths. He had to summon the courage to just say it and the knowledge that it wouldn't kill him if Tessa's feelings didn't reflect his. “Okay, T, I just need to say...”

“Wait.” Tessa put her hand on his arm. “This is good news, right?”

“I hope so.” Scott let out a breath. “I really hope so.”

“Okay.” Tessa gave his arm a light squeeze. “Go ahead.”

“T, I just need to say...”

“Miss Virtue.”

Scott blew out his breath in frustration as the nurse entered the room. Fate seemed to be determined to not let him reveal his true feelings today. He let her hand slide from his grasp as he stood up and moved to the end of the bed.

“Who's there?” 

“It's just me, Miss Virtue.” The nurse assigned to Tessa bustled around her bed straightening the sheets, She aimed her gaze at Scott. “I wasn't interrupting anything was I?” 

Scott backed away from the bed shaking his head. “Nope, not at all.” He gestured toward the door. “Do you need me to leave?”

“Oh no, you're fine.” The nurse continued to move around the room, fussily tidying the floral bouquets and cards, pulling curtains wide open, checking Tessa's files and generally driving Scott crazy.

“Is there something you need?” Tessa asked gently. “Do I have to go for another test?”

“Oh no, no!” The nurse settled in the chair by the bed. “I know you were down for tests this morning, so I thought I would check in and see if you needed anything.”

Scott rolled his eyes. He knew if Tessa could see his reaction she'd be grinning and trying to hold in her laughter. When he glanced over he saw that Tessa indeed was trying to keep the smirk off her face.

“I know you just got moved today and sometimes things can be missed. You just let me know whatever you need.” The nurse reached over and picked up Scott's bouquet from the side table. "Very pretty." She nodded approvingly.

“Oh I'm fine, I was just having a visit here with my...” she gestured toward Scott.

“Oh, I know who you are!” The nurse clapped her hands together. “I love you two!”

“Thank you.” Scott mumbled.

"I've seen all your routines." she gushed. "You are the best team out there!"

“We appreciate that.” Tessa said, her smile now genuine. “Thank you very much.”

“So...” Scott shuffled closer to the bed.

“Oh yes!” the nurse jumped to her feet. “Are you sure you don't need anything?”

“No, I'm fine, thank you for coming in.” Tessa smiled warmly. “I'll buzz if I think of anything.”

The nurse slowly made her way out of the room and Tessa collapsed against her pillows, laughing, when the door finally clicked shut.

“I'm sorry Scott.” Tessa tried to catch her breath between giggles. “I can just imagine the look on your face right now.”

“I mean.” he sighed as he sat down at the edge of the bed again. “I love that everyone here cares for you so much, but really?”

“She's sweet.” Tessa adjusted the pillow behind her back. “Where were we?”

“Oh yeah.” Scott reached for Tessa's hands. “I just need to say...”

The hospital room door flew open almost immediately and Tessa's family crowded into the room. 

“Hey Tess, how are you doing?”

“New digs, looking good!”

“Darling.” Kate leaned down and kissed her daughter on the cheek. 

Scott had, once again, retreated to the end of the bed, trying desperately to keep his feelings in check.  
It would figure that the day he finally got up the courage to bare his soul, would be the day everyone would want to visit Tessa.

The family stayed for the afternoon, and Scott had to admit that they had a really great time. Someone had smuggled in Tessa's favourite foods and drink and they had a good old fashioned picnic right there on the floor in the hospital room. They spent the afternoon and well into the evening, sharing stories and jokes and laughing and crying. More friends and extended family continued to stop by throughout the day. Friends would pop in and leave and Scott lost track of how many people actually were there. As the last few visitors slowly trickled out, saying goodbyes and good luck, Scott only realized that he was finally alone with Tessa and what time it was when the night nurse popped her head in and suggested that allowing Tessa to rest might be a good idea.

“You're still here?” Tessa's voice was sleepy. “Thank you for staying.”

Scott leaned in, kissing her cheek softly. “I'll be back tomorrow.” he promised, as he pulled her covers up and tucked her in securely. 

“You never...” Tessa tried to stifle a yawn. “never told me what you wanted to tell me.”

“It's okay.” Scott assured her. “You need your sleep. You've had a busy day.”

“But I wanna know.” Tessa voice had a dreamy, child-like quality now and Scott knew she was close to falling to sleep. 

“Tomorrow, sweetie.” Scott gently patted her hands. “We can talk tomorrow.”

“You stayed all day.” Tessa yawned, loudly. “It must be important.”

“Maybe, I just wanted to stay here all day.” he teased, tickling under her chin. “Where else would I see so many people?”

Tessa reached up and circled her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. Scott sucked in a breath of surprise and tucked his head in the hollow of her neck, breathing in her scent, faintly medicinal, but still uniquely Tessa. She had no idea what she was doing to him, which made him feel even more. He licked his lips. No time like the present, he thought, opening his mouth.

“Scott, I love you.”


	14. Love

“Well. Good morning, sunshine.”

Scott barely cracked his eyes open as he tried to focus on the voice that had just rudely woken him up from his sleep. He stretched and froze when his hand touched the cold metal railing attached to the bed he had slept in last night. His eyes flew open and he swore under his breath.

“Hey Charlie, what's up?”

He muttered as he tried to gracefully slide out of the bed, but since fate was not currently his best friend, he first had to untangle himself from Tessa's arms without waking her, untwist the blankets wound around his legs and find someway to figure out how his shirt got attached to a small hook at the side of the bed and remove it without tearing it.

“Oh, I thought I'd come visit Tessa since it's my day off. Haven't been here for a bit.” Barely able to hold his laughter in, Charlie grinned as his little brother went through his various contortions and finally stood before him on the floor. He pulled him into a bear hug and ruffled his hair. “Getting long there, Scotty.”

“Shut up.” Scott mumbled. “I haven't had time to get it cut.” He shuffled his feet awkwardly as he looked down, grateful for an opportunity to turn away when Tessa uttered a small moan in her sleep.

“Don't you mean, 'shut up. Tessa likes it like this.'?”

“Charlie, I swear...”

“Easy brother. She's still asleep.” Charlie ran his hand gently over Tessa's arm. “Did she have a bad night? Is that why you stayed with her?”

No, Scott thought to himself. She told me she loved me. She pulled me down and whispered in my ear that she loved me. Then she kissed me. Really kissed me, for the first time. Scott cursed again as his body gave an involuntary shiver at his thoughts. He crossed his arms over his chest and replayed the moment in his head again. She loved him. 

“Did you finally tell her?” Charlie's voice came from across the room. He had settled into the comfy easy chair that Kate used when she was visiting. His eyes studied Scott carefully from across the room. He knew talking about any sort of relationship between Scott and Tessa was forbidden with them. Neither one of them were willing to acknowledge what their families had known for such a long time. Charlie had spoken with their mother the day before and knew that Scott had finally come clean about his feelings. He hadn't expected to walk into him sleeping in Tessa's bed though.

“Tell her what?” Scott strained to keep his voice steady. “The girl is in the hospital she just needed...” 

“Really Scott? Don't hand me a line of crap.”

He looked over at Charlie, instantly knowing that he knew. He bent down to place a kiss on Tessa's cheek before going to sit beside his brother.

“You must have been talking to mom?”

“Yes, but, I clearly didn't need to.”

Scott fidgeted, picking up and setting down a book, looking over making sure Tessa was still sleeping soundly. 

“I was going to tell her yesterday. I figured out what I wanted to say to her and I wanted to tell her. I kept getting interrupted, nurses, family, the whole damn day I couldn't say a word to her in private. Then, when I was saying goodbye, she told me. She loves me, Charlie. Tessa loves me.” 

“I'm really happy you two are being honest with yourselves finally.” Charlie looked at his brother fondly. “You guys deserve to be happy and together.”

“I just can't believe she feels the same way. I never thought..”

“Why?” Charlie asked. “Why is it so hard to believe?”

Scott looked over at Tessa, then back at his brother. “She knows everything about me. Why would she want me? She knows my temper, my jealousy, my mood swings, my...”

“Your tenderness, your selflessness, your heart. I do know everything about you Scott Moir and that's why I love you,” The soft, sleepy voice from the bed tore at Scott's heartstrings and brought tears to his eyes.

“Not what you expected to walk in on this morning, hey Charlie?” Tessa giggled. “I'm so sorry.”

Scott moved over to the side of the bed, grasped her hand and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Good morning.”

“Good morning to you.” Tessa smiled, as she touched his cheek. “Listen, how about you go get Charlie and yourself some coffee.” she asked. “Just so we can have a little visit?”

Scott looked over at Charlie, who shrugged his shoulders. “I guess so. I won't be long though.”

“That's okay.” Tessa squeezed his hand. “It will be enough.”

“You're looking good, T. A lot better than the last time I was here.” Charlie walked over and took the spot Scott had just vacated. “I can't imagine they are going to keep you here much longer.”

“I hope not. I can't stand it and I don't think there's much more that they can do at this point.” Tessa frowned.

“Have they figured anything out about your sight?” Charlie sighed as he watched Tessa's features crumble in despair. 

“No.” Tessa swiped at a tear threatening to run down her cheek. “They don't know what's wrong, they can't find anything.”

“Head injuries are funny things.” Charlie commented. “Things could change tomorrow.”

“So I've heard, but I have a feeling that's not going to happen here.” Tessa sat up straighter and now her face had a fierce look of determination. “That's why I wanted to talk to you. Without Scott. You need to convince him to find someone else to skate with.”

“Tessa! He would never...”

“You need to convince him.” Tessa repeated. “I won't be able to skate and he needs to.”

“He needs to skate with you.”

“He wants that Olympic gold medal. I'm hindering him – again – he has time to find someone new.”

“Tessa.” Charlie sat on the edge of the bed and touched her shoulder. “He has a gold medal, another one with someone else won't mean a damn thing to him. He wants it with you. For you.”

“I almost ruined his chances before. I won't do it again.” she said, firmly. “I love him and I want this for him.”

“Then don't ask him do to this.” Charlie shook his head. “Do you think this comeback thing was for him? He thinks he let you down in Sochi and after. He wants this for you. Skating with someone else won't mean anything. It doesn't matter what I might say. He won't do it.”

“I keep ruining things, our career, our lives.” Tessa swiped fiercely at the tears that were running down her face. “I probably shouldn't have told him that I love him because something will go wrong there too.”

Charlie leaned in and pulled Tessa into a tight hug. “Listen. Scott loves you. He has for a very long time. He'll do anything for you. If you asked for the moon, he'd find someway to get it for you. But he will never skate with someone else. Skating is yours, together. I think both of you know that you wouldn't have accomplished what you have with other partners. Don't even thing about asking him this, please.”

“I just want the best for him, Charlie. I want him to have everything he wants.” Tessa sniffed, through her tears.

Kissing her cheek, Charlie released the hug. “He wants you, Tessa. That's all he wants.”

“What's going on here?” Scott returned with the drinks, staring in confusion at Tessa in tears, while his brother smiled like a lunatic.

“We just had a good visit.” Charlie said, rubbing Tessa's shoulders before he stood. “I'm gonna take that coffee to go and let you two talk.”

“You just got here.” Scott protested.

“Yep.” Charlie embraced Scott and picked up the warm cup. “I'll be back, bring the fam. They all want to see you, Tessa.”

“Thank you Charlie. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, Tessa. You guys have a good visit.” Charlie waved as he walked out the door.

“What was that all about?” Scott wondered, aloud. “I thought he wanted to visit?”

“We had a talk. He'll be back.” Tessa reached for Scott's hand. “That coffee smells good. I wish I could have some.”

“We can ask the doctor later.” Scott leaned back, lifting his legs onto the bed. “Right now, I just want to be here with you.”

Tessa let her head fall to his shoulder. Being with Scott had always made her feel safe and protected. And loved. 

“I wanted to tell you yesterday, you know.” Scott spoke, breaking the comfortable silence. “I wanted to tell you all day, but I kept getting interrupted. I was so surprised when you told me. I never thought you'd feel the same way.”

“I've always had...feelings for you.” Tessa shifted slightly to wrap her arms around her partner. “When I was younger, like teenage, I thought you moved the stars. But you always had a girlfriend and I was just the girl you skated with.”

“You were never just the girl I skated with.”

“Then I had a boyfriend, then things got weird.”

Scott knew she was talking about the times after her surgery, after Vancouver, Sochi. Times they never talked about, times they didn't want to talk about. So many wasted moments.

“But then when you asked me to come back, things were different.”

“I only want it for you, T. You deserve it.”

“I might not ever skate again.” Tessa said, quietly.

“We'll deal with that when we need to.” Scott assured her. “Right now we just want to get you back home and healing. We don't need to worry about skating.”

“But you need to be training.” Tessa tested the waters. “You should be skating if you want to be ready for Skate Canada.”

“Not me. WE.” Scott rained kisses on her hair, then, tipping her head up, kissed her properly. “If you're not on the ice with me, I don't care if I ever skate again.”

“Scott!”

“Nope. I don't want you to worry about it. You just need to be healthy so we can start our lives together.”

“Start...our lives...” Tessa repeated, her thoughts in a daze.

“I love you T. After all this time, I still want to spend more time with you. If we never skate again, that's okay. I want you healthy, I want you happy, I want you with me.”

Tessa sighed happily and snuggled closer to Scott. “I love you so much. Why did we wait so long to tell each other?”

“Damned if I know. This feels pretty damn good.”

They kissed and lay back together, comfortable finally in their relationship. Neither noticed when the door closed with a soft click as their mothers walked away from the room, arm in arm, broad smiles on their faces.


	15. Try

“Doesn't it feel good to be outside?” Scott had arrived at the hospital that morning determined to get Tessa out of her bed. By his estimation, she had laid in that stale environment for far too long. She needed fresh air and exercise to help her on her way to a full recovery. He leisurely pushed Tessa's wheelchair around the grounds of the hospital. It was a beautiful early summer day with the sun shining, but just enough of a cool breeze to keep things comfortable. His destination was an area behind the hospital where there was a garden with waterfalls, benches or covered gazebos for their patients and visitors to relax. Scott stopped at a shaded area, fragrant with blooming roses, taking care to park the wheelchair. He unfurled a fleece throw to cover Tessa's shoulders before sitting on a bench beside her. “It's really pretty here.” Scott told her, taking her hand and guiding it to the flowers. “These are right beside you. Red roses.”

“I'm sure they're beautiful.” Tessa murmured, gently fingering the velvety petals of the bloom before drawing her hand back and tucking it under the blanket.

“I was talking to Jordan.” Scott smiled “The doctor said if your next tests are clear, you can probably go home next week.” Scott gave a small cheer, hoping to draw a smile from his partner.

Tessa merely nodded.

“You've been here over two months. Aren't you looking forward to going home?” Scott placed two fingers under her chin and turned her head towards him. She was too thin, her face gaunt and dark shadows under her eyes. Her beautiful, long hair, cut when she first had surgery, was growing back, but was hanging at odd, lifeless lengths. The other side of her head, shaved for the same surgery, was covered with fuzzy new growth. She looked like a shadow version of the Tessa he knew and loved. He couldn't wait to get her out of the hospital and back home to recover completely.

“How can I go home?” Tessa asked, plaintively. “I can't see.”

“Your mom and sister are going to be with you.” Scott assured her. “And I'm going to be...”

“Scott, you need to get back to your skating.” Tessa interrupted. “You shouldn't be babysitting an invalid.”

“We've talked about this. I don't give a damn about skating if it's not with you. I want to be with you.”  
Scott took her hands out from under the blanket and caressed them. How could he make her see that the only thing he cared about was her? Skating meant nothing to him without her. She was the most important thing in his life. Then the meaning of her words slammed into his consciousness.  
“Tessa. You are not an invalid.”

“Whatever.” Tessa twisted away from him. “I'm not going to be able to live in my own house alone.”

“You can do whatever you decide you want to do.” Scott encouraged her. “You can figure this out and make it work for you. Or you can give up. You've never given up as long as I have known you.”

“I could see before!” Tessa shouted, her hands gesturing wildly around her head. 

“So what?” Scott countered. “Remember the times you couldn't even walk, but you skated and you worked through all the pain, and the surgeries and came back stronger than ever.”

“I can't come back from being blind, Scott.”

“Maybe not. But you are the only one who can decide how you are going to handle being blind. You can let it cripple you or you can learn to embrace it and become stronger.”

“The doctors don't even think I can do anything.” Tessa slapped the arm of the wheelchair. “They won't let me walk. They told you I couldn't, didn't they?”

“Why would they...?” Scott asked, baffled. Then a thought came to him that might get her up and on her feet. “The doctors didn't say anything to me. But, you're right. You can't see anymore so who would expect you to walk or anything? I was just trying to be positive for you. But why bother?”

Tessa's face twisted with emotion, and it almost killed Scott to go on discouraging her.

“You don't think I can walk?” she asked, tears glistening in the the corners of her eyes. “But you just said...”

“I know what I said. I told you I was trying to be positive for you.” Scott blew out a breath. “What's the point in being positive if you've already decided you're going to be an invalid?”

“I don't want to be!” Tessa cried. “I just don't think I can do this.” The tears were running freely down her face now and it took all of Scott's willpower not to wrap her in his arms and admit his deceit.

“You don't want to be an invalid. Okay then, let's walk.” He pulled the throw off her shoulders and tossed it on the bench. “Stand up.” he said, roughly.

“Scott?” 

“You want to walk, so let's walk.” Scott had never in his life spoken to her this way. She was going to hate him. “Get up and let's go.” 

“I don't like you talking to me this way.” she said, hesitantly. “What's wrong with you?”

“What's wrong with me?” Scott stared at her, a crazy mix of anger and love coursing through him. It killed him to have Tessa thinking he was going to hurt her, or that he hated her. But at the same time he was angry that she had all but given up. “The woman I love is telling me she's an invalid. She's telling me that because she can't see, she can no longer do anything. I think she's wrong. Let's walk.”

Tessa stood slowly, holding onto the wheelchair for as long as she could. “I don't know where we are.”

“Walk to me.” Scott ordered. “Listen to my voice and walk to me.” 

Tessa took a small step, arms held out in front of her, hands splayed wide. “Talk to me then. I need to hear your voice to know where you are.”

“Can't you do it?” Scott sneered. “There's nothing in your way, keep walking.” 

Her steps were small and shuffling, but she slowly inched closer to him, her hands reaching out. Scott felt his heart well with pride. She was walking. No one told Tessa Jane Virtue she couldn't do something. He knew she could do it.

“Am I close?”

“Very.” Scott shifted one step back. “Very close.”

Tessa took the last few steps towards him and Scott couldn't resist any longer. He scooped her up, spinning her around in delight. “You did it! You did it!” As he kissed her cheek, he whispered in her ear. “I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it.” He set her down and smiled happily, noticing the blush to her cheeks and the smile on her lips.

“I was terrified.” she admitted, her body quaking as she clung to him, holding his shoulders tight.

“Terrified looks good on you.” He kissed her cheek once more. “There's colour in your cheeks finally.” Pulling her to him, he praised her. “I'm so proud of you. 

“You scared me.” Tessa admitted, tears pricking her eyes. “You sounded so cold.”

Scott tucked her arm under his elbow. “I'm sorry I scared you. You know I would never talk to you like that, but I thought you might try if I challenged you. I didn't know what else to do.” he confessed. “I knew you would want to prove me wrong.”

Tessa punched his shoulder as she smiled through her tears. “I hate you for knowing me so well.”

“Let's walk for real this time.” 

When they arrived back at her room, Tessa admitted the exercise had tired her out. “I just need some rest.” she yawned. “That was a lot for my first outing.”

Scott lifted her from the wheelchair to her bed and tucked her in. “Get some sleep, kiddo. I'm not going anywhere.”

Tessa patted the side of her bed. “Lay with me, please?”

Kicking off his shoes, Scott climbed up on the bed and pulled her into him. “I love you T. I'm so proud of you.”

Her head nodded sleepily against his chest. “Love you too.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Comfortable, Mr Moir?”

Scott could almost visualize his most excellent dream evaporating before his eyes as the booming voice of one of Tessa's doctors woke him up. This time, Tessa was awake before him and he could hear her giggling away as he tried to untangle himself from the blankets. 

“It's time for Miss Tessa to go down for her tests. Would you like to escort her?”

Scott looked to the doctor and then Tessa, whose face was beaming with excitement. “I want to try walking down, Scott. They'll bring me back in a chair, but won't you please walk down with me?”  
They walked arm in arm down the halls to the CT-scan and ultrasound rooms. Tessa wanted to try a few steps on her own, so Scott proudly walked behind her as she slowly stepped, her hand trailing over the balance bar affixed to the wall. “You're doing so great, T!” he cheered. “Keep going!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Scott sat in the cafeteria, letting the horrible hospital coffee grow cold while he waited for someone from the Virtue family to come and let him in on the test results. They had called the family after Tessa went in for the tests, and Scott stood back and let them have their time and space with their daughter. While he waited, he flipped through his phones music playlist, listening to bits and pieces of songs, but he was wired too tight with impatience to listen to anything in full. He watched people come and go. Some smiling, some crying, some whose faces were just grim. Maybe they were waiting on news just like he was or maybe they just got their news and were dealing with their emotions. Absently, he lifted the coffee cup to his lips and instantly spit out the cold liquid. He didn't see Tessa's father approach as he replayed a song that captured his attention. His head swayed to the music, movements and steps already appearing in his head. He jumped when Mr. Virtue touched his shoulder to get his attention. “Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Virtue, just one minute!” Desperately, he searched for something to write on. Grabbing a napkin and a pen, he scrawled the name of the song down and tucked the napkin in his wallet.

Jim smiled when he saw the photo of Tessa and Scott that was inside Scott's wallet. “That was taken a few years ago.” he commented.

Scott opened his wallet again and studied the photo. It was one someone had taken backstage or in a dressing room, he couldn't remember anymore. Tessa had just emerged from behind a curtain, showing off her dress and Scott sat on a bench, just staring at her. She was beautiful, she'd always been beautiful. “Yeah.” He touched Tessa's face with the tip of his thumb and smiled wistfully. “It's an oldie, but a goodie.” He stuffed his wallet back in his pocket and folded his hands on the table. “How's Tessa?”

Jim's face turned sober. “She's good. She's back in her room.” He pushed Scott's cup back and forth between his fingers. “She was telling us that you got her up and walking.”

“Yeah, I took her out on the path behind the hospital.” His knee started to bounce impatiently, anticipating the results. “She did a great job.” 

“Tessa's blind, Scott.” Jim's voice caught. “My baby can't see.”

“It's permanent?” Scott managed to gasp out.

“They don't see anything. The bleeding has stopped. The swelling has gone down. There's no image of scar tissue mass. She just can't see anymore.” 

“But they said...”

“They still say that things could change at any time, but right now all they can tell us is that she can't see.”

“I'm so sorry.” Scott flexed his hands open and shut. “I don't know what to say.” Pushing his chair back, Scott stood quickly. “I should go.”

Jim stood and stopped him from turning by grabbing his shoulders. “Son, I'm only going to ask you one thing as we deal with this situation.”

Scott nodded, tears filling his eyes. “What's that, sir?” He just wanted to go, to be with Tessa and comfort her in whatever way he could.

“You've told her you love her.” Jim studied the young man that was dealing with the pain of this news in his own way. “I know you were telling her the truth. I can see that love whenever you look at her.”

“I do, sir. I love her very much.”

Jim nodded. “Just be there for her. Help her. Listen to her. Love her. That's all a father can ask.”

“I will.” Scott promised. “I will always be there for her. I'm never leaving her again.”


End file.
